fANTASY 



Souls 



MARGARET IRVING 





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A FANTASY OF SOULS 




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A FANTASY OF SOULS 



BY 

MARGARET IRVING 



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author of 
" nature's truths told to a little maid 



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PUBLISHED AT 

THE ROOKERY 

NEW YORK 



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PS 



Copyright. 1912, 

BY 

Thb Bookery 



ENTERED STATIONERS* HALL 
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES 



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CONTENTS 

PAGB 

In Secret Places 11 

The Family Cloak 31 

Soul to Soul 59 

When Joy Speaks 69 



ILLUSTRATIONS 

" You May Well Cry and Beg, Forgive, For- 
give ! " Frontispiece \/ 

" Come into Your True Inheritance " .... 31 V 

" Why, Soul of a Woman, so Restless and Dis- 
turbed " 69 -^ 

" To Love, to Do, to Serve " 78 «X 



IN SECRET PLACES 



IN SECRET PLACES 

SOFT, velvet blackness of the deepest hour 
clings close about us; dense, impenetrable 
gloom enwraps our very souls in its heavy 
sable folds. It is the Hghtless period preceding 
dawn; silence reigns supreme. Spirits, happy, 
sorrowful, wicked, sick — secure in the envelop- 
ing protection of this witching hour — rest con- 
fidently, free from their several joys and ills. 
In the dark obscurity of midnight soul stands 
before soul, dependent upon the moments' shad- 
owless protection to defend each from the others* 
searching gaze. 

It is the hour of discovery, that magic time 
when men and women are truly themselves to all 
who seek them in spirit, apart from its visible 
material shell; now while all nature sleeps the 
inner man, the real " I Am," stripped of taudry 
trappings, stands forth revealed in beauty or in 
ugly, awful shape. Material garments avail him 

11 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

little. Cast from him, the real him, are robes 
worn during intercourse with men. Let us draw 
aside all protecting draperies and, seeking 
deeply each outward familiar semblance of some 
companion of our daily association, investigate 
these mysteries. Come with me, we will travel 
into secret places, you and I, and, before dawn, 
penetrate through many shams and tread rever- 
ently upon holy ground. 

Strange and eerie journey, is it not, this trip 
in search of the real, the true? 

Do not travel so fast, my friend, remain a 
short time here. See, we have already, in truth, 
begun our journey, and stand at the bedside of 
our first unconscious host, unbidden and un- 
challenged guests. 

All seems shadowy and unreal, except the re- 
cumbent figure near our side. Do we know this 
man? Surely no! His countenance seems quite 
strange. But is it really so ? For, while we con- 
tinue to look upon him, a faint resemblance can 
be traced in that poor face — a resemblance to 
one which, during waking hours, is wreathed in 

12 



IN SECRET PLACES 

sunless smiles and continual expressions of good- 
will. The mask of this has now been laid aside. 
Here he lies before us, bereft of artificiality, re- 
vealed his poor, drooping, cynical mouth, with 
loose, flabby under lip, heavy, brutal, beast-like 
jaw and chin. We can see, in these relaxed fea- 
tures, the true expression of the soul within. In 
the wrinkled, twisted brow discontent and tem- 
per speak; those awkward, stiff and unresisting 
limbs as plainly show his stubborn and unlovely 
disposition, no less than the miserable tale told 
by his clenched fingers — those terribly grasping 
and rapacious fingers — holding unto himself all 
in his power of everything his twice little soul 
holds dear. Those bony, heavy feet wiU stamp 
out all conditions that stand in the way of his 
material pleasures and gain of worldly goods. 
Yes, in very truth those tight-locked fingers will 
grasp and keep unto themselves all, all that 
comes within reach of their sordid and selfish 
touch; while, rejoicing and unashamed of his 
misdeeds, this human vulture will leave bank- 
ruptcy, poverty and bleeding hearts behind. 

13 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

That iron wrist will wring from you or me, 
aye, even from his nearest kin, whatever he de- 
sires to possess; and that loose mouth will lie or 
kiss, wherever it will help to bring him gain — 
gain in love, or play, or gold. Look at those 
restless eyes; how they stare at us through their 
fast-closed lids with hard and icy gaze ; they 
cut into the soul, cut into your soul and 
mine deeper than the sharpest blade of pol- 
ished steel. 

He is at rest, if indeed 
such a miserable soul can ever be at 
rest. Himself at last secure in the 
impression that, while he sleeps, his 
spirit bears, as when awake, every petty mean de- 
ceit with which it is clothed during waking hours, 
cleverly conceahng all the scars and malforma- 
tion of his natural self. Our sordid and selfish 
companion, little does he dream that at last his 
life is open, open to study as from an unclosed 
book, and as fully comprehended. Poor thing, 
poor, unhappy, unlovely thing! He is ours to 
pity and abhor. But come away, we have lin- 
gered too long among his secrets. To-morrow, 

14 




IN SECRET PLACES 

should we meet him among* his fellow men, we 
shall recognize him, not by his clever masquerade 
attire, but in all his baseness and nakedness of 
soul, deformed, misshapen, horrid to our inner 
vision. Let us leave him with our God and his 
God. The time will come when he shall see him- 
self with sight as clear and true as we now see 
him in all his revolting imperfections. Pity, 
pity, oh pity that poor, deformed spirit. Of all 
his enemies he is his own worst enemy; and the 
torments of the damned he will suffer when at 
last he realizes the wreck he has made of himself, 
not only of himself, but of the beauties he has 
destroyed in his own life and in that of others. 
We will hope and pray and mercifully draw the 
curtain, draw it, for his own sake as well as for 
our own, say " God forgive him " and pass on. 
Our way is long to-night and we must not 
linger. Invisible fingers are leading us forward. 
Now we must stop again, for here is another 
familiar form. Look at him wrapt in sleep; 
closely, closely study every line of that uncon- 
scious face, and limbs relaxed in the depths of 
slumber. What meets your eager eyes, oh 

15 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

friend? Does not that calm brow, lightly traced 
with delicate lines so fine, denote pure thoughts 
and noble aims? A warm and tender heart beats 
in that breast, not only a warm and tender heart, 
but a noble and generous soul controls that life. 
The gentle smile upon his firm and kindly curv- 
ing lips whispers of unselfishness, courage, hon- 
esty and charity. This soul has fought the great 
fight with worldly temptation. Every line upon 
that rugged face, of itself irregular and plain, is 
made beautiful by the light within ; and each tiny 
mark tells of a battle fought — of a battle fought 
and won for right. 

Happy spirit ! He smiles in his sleep ; and we 
will leave him to his well-deserved rest, with a 
warmth about our hearts, a glad light in our 
eyes and a blessing on our lips as we murmur, 
" God be thanked for such men and women as 
he." 

The night is misty; there are no stars, there is 
no sound. Pause a minute now, for we are about 
to visit one of our friends whom we least under- 
stand. How quiet it is! The room seems filled 
with violet shadows ; everything looks unreal, ex- 

16 



IN SECRET PLACES 

cept the reposing figure before us. It is a wo- 
man, a beautiful woman, young and fair; long 
shining hair covers her as with a veil. She lies 
here, strange, majestic, wrapped in slumber 
sweet and deep. She does not know we are gaz- 
ing at her through all outward seeming, and can 
see, within her material body, her pure and 
radiant spirit, hidden so completely from mortal 
eyes. What has happened here? Her soul seems 
enveloped in purest ecstacy. That proud and 
haughty personahty, so well known to us, ap- 
pears transformed and in its place supreme love, 
gentleness, sacrifice and rejoicing are what we 
find written on her peaceful brow. She seems 
glorified ; her figure floats in a strange, radiating, 
white light. Life — ^wonderful, mysterious Life. 
Come closer; look at her arms, delicate and 
slender as white hlies, cradled 
carefully upon her breast. 
Safe within them folded lies a' 
new spirit, born to earth and 
all its conditions, a new soul, fresh from the 
great unknown. She is no longer the grand 
dame, the leader of society, the worldly woman 

17 




A FANTASY OF SOULS 

among worldly women. No, this condition she 
has cast from her spirit with her waking gar- 
ments, and she now lies before us as she really 
is — a mother. Motherhood is hers; and mother- 
hood, to provide bodies for future generations, is 
the greatest honor that can come to any human 
creature. What tremendous responsibilities the 
divine name " Mother " implies. What a trust 
has been given to her ! We cannot look upon that 
serene and gentle face, the strong, tender mouth, 
the noble brow and careful protecting arms, and 
doubt her love, purity, unselfishness and capa- 
bility of expressing to her child every attribute 
of pure motherhood. The child on her breast is 
so new, so spotless, so innocent, that we can 
say nothing before this young spirit, shining 
brighter than the brightest sun lying peacefully 
before us, untouched as yet by one earthly con- 
dition, both innocent and ignorant of all worldly 
things. Shall we dare to return in a quarter of 
a century and expect to find no disappointment 
awaiting us in this boy? I fear we would not 
derive the same joy and satisfaction that is ours 
to-night as we gaze upon his beauty and purity. 

18 



IN SECRET PLACES 

To-morrow we shall meet " the mother in the 
world of men," a bit disdainful, be jeweled, over- 
dressed, powdered and curled; but she will never 
again be the society butterfly to us. The great 
lady we shall not see ; instead will be this devoted 
mother — a Madonna, with her child upon her 
breast, her face, sweet, human, beautiful with 
the joy of motherhood. She will wonder at the 
kindness of our glances and the warmth of our 
greetings, and sensing we have in some myster- 
ious way grown near to her, flash into our eyes 
one happy, radiant look from behind the veil, in 
which her spirit so securely hides away from com- 
mon mortals. 

The witching hour is passing and we must 
hasten on our way, as the time of investigation 
is going fast. 

We have arrived at our next halting place, 
and it is a sad and gloomy room to which we have 
come. Another woman is before us. I will whis- 
per her name; you turn away your head; you will 
not look. Why all this emotion, comrade? Why 
are you so pale. Come, you must come; it is or- 
dained that you examine her well. She cannot 

19 




A FANTASY OF SOULS 

hurt you, poor soul; she is asleep: a fitful, broken 
rest is hers. It is not the first time I have made 
her such a visit. One year ago to-night I stood 
unknown beside her bed and looked upon her 
gentle face — aye, with love and adoration — for 
she was my saint. I dreamed sweet, wild dreams 
that night; but they are past, and now a night- 
mare keeps me company. How dear she 
seemed twelve months ago, a dainty girl of 
seventeen short years, sweet and pure, 
beautiful of soul and body. Her lips wore 
the smile of innocence, her loveliness shone 
as that of an angel. Dreams chased each 
other through her pretty head, happy 
dreams of love and hope and joy. One 
childish hand clasped fast a little ring; the 
other lay relaxed, palm up and open wide, 
ready to receive all of the tenderness and happi- 
ness that enveloped her spirit as in a golden 
cloud. Poor child, poor child! You are weep- 
ing, my friend; the bitter tears are falling fast. 
Yes, I know your love was all the world to her 
in that past springtime. Your love, your prom- 
ises, they made her life; and, in return, she gave 

20 



IN SECRET PLACES 

you all she had to give, in sweet ignorance of 
herself and man. Not to me, man, explain; not 
to me, but to the broken woman lying before you. 
Your voice will penetrate through her sleep and 
she will see you as in a vision. Speak, make your 
peace; to-morrow it will be too late, too late I I 
know this place is dark, but you need not tremble 
so; she is quite accustomed to darkness now, to 
iron bars before her window and her prison bed 
and fare. Why is she here? You more than all 
others should know full well. 

Think back to the forgotten springtime days, 
those days of childish innocence and maiden faith 
betrayed. Think back, think back! Delve deep 
within your own bare soul; lay it open wide and 
read within as you have penetrated this night into 
the secret, sacred places of other men. What do 
you find? Let us seek together. See all the fair 
promises you destroyed with ruthless hand; see 
all the little pitiful letters left unopened, and 
your flight to other lands. What a foul and sel- 
fish coward looks that naked soul of yours. And 
now turn your eyes from the past months of your 
infamy to this woman here before you. She 

21 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

moves, and whispers in her sleep words too odd 
and strange for her soft lips to speak. Look at 
all those bruises^ black and deep upon her spirit. 
Its glory is sorely mutilated by ugly scars in- 
flicted by yourself. It was such a bright, beau- 
tiful spirit, how could you, oh, how could you so 
stain it with shame and crime? See her eyes; 
look deep within them and read the saddest of 
all sad things. Those eyes, once so wonderful, 
clear and bright that they emitted sparks of pure 
angelic light, but now, through their transparent 
hds, they look like caverns — ^black, unwholesome, 
gruesome — giving forth neither rays of light nor 
life. Her fresh young hps which whispered 
dreams so fair and holy, and on which you have 
pressed many a lover's kiss, are parched and blue 
and dry. Come closer, still closer, and read what 
is pictured on her troubled heart. Look! First 
you see her all happiness, faith and love. Now 
she has changed a little, because you were some- 
what cold and unkind to her that day. Again, 
now you did not keep your promised tryst and 
she is sad. She writes a letter, such a sweet, dear 
letter, and waits and waits and waits. She does 

22 



IN SECRET PLACES 

not sleep ; her heart beats at a madhke pace and 
then again ahnost ceases to work at all, so still it 
keeps. It is listening, listening for a love- 
message, but all in vain! No letter, no lover! 
Upon her white knees she kneels and prays and 
prays, but prayers bring no relief. Months have 
flown. We see her frightened, sad and most dis- 
consolate. Wild with terror, she understands 
at last that she must find the father of her child 
or woe for all. She has no confidant; she dare 
not speak. Bewildered and afraid, she leaves her 
home, her people, to bear alone in poverty and 
shame her sore trouble, which should have been 
her great delight and pride. In solitude and 
misery, among coarse and heartless strangers, she 
passes through the anguish and perils of child- 
birth, heartbroken and forlorn. She is mad with 
grief and pain. The world, God's beautiful 
world, is torment to her, and God's people laugh 
at her in scorn. She is weak and soulsick. She 
gazes with horror at the little creature in her 
arms and he, the child, stares and stares back at 
her, seeming to mock her with his father's eyes, 
in which she reads derision and contempt. A ter- 

23 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

rible coldness descends upon her; a blazing red- 
ness burns behind her poor, deep-sunken eyes; 
thick, red, sluggish blood surges and beats in her 
distorted brain ; her fingers stiffen, her neck and 
delicate muscles become as iron. A frightful 
glitter springs into her dull eyes; the slender 
white fingers open and close and stretch them- 
selves until they look like supple snakes and they 
softly touch the tiny feet; further up, over the 
small body, they creep, upward, ever upward, 
until they cling about that impudent baby neck. 
The mocking eyes continue to gaze and wink at 
her; the twisted, shriveled mouth, so unchildlike 
in its expression, lears and grins in mocked glee. 
Her slender, white fingers continue to cling, 
closer, closer, ever closer; tighter is their grasp; 
tighter, ever tighter about the baby neck. The eyes 
still stare ; the face, once white, becomes blue, and 
then black and twisted into frightful shapes. 
And now the spasm has passed. The mother's 
false strength has left her; she becomes once 
more herself, and finds, within her grasp, a baby, 
stiff, cold — quite dead! But those eyes, those 
terribly familiar, manlike, provocative eyes will 

24 



IN SECRET PLACES 

never trouble her again. With one wild cry, as 
of a spirit of darkness, she cowers in horror away 
from the dreadful thing so near her. In a stupid, 
dazed condition she reaches forward, and with 
one thin hand touches the monkey-hke figure so 
cold and still upon the bed. Then like a hunted 
beast she falls upon the floor, and, with moans 
and sobs, awakens all the neighbors within hear- 
ing of her cries. The door of her poor attic is 
pushed open and a mob of strangers surround 
her. The women scream, the men curse and 
grasp her dainty body with rough hands. Nature 
can stand no more; the poor soul mercifully 
faints and is dragged away unconscious to soli- 
tary confinement behind strong prison walls. 
The country is now satisfied. She has murdered 
— oh yes, without a doubt she murdered — her 
beautiful baby; and for this dreadful crime she 
is in the strong grasp of the law. To-morrow 
this same law will make an example of her. In 
the prison yard the gallows is already standing 
gaunt and grim. At sunrise they will lead her 
out, or rather carry her to her punishment, for she 
is too weak and ill to stand upon her Httle feet. 

25 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

The men will leer at her; the chaplain will 
mumble a prayer over her, which she will not 
hear. The rope will be neatly adjusted under 
each pearly ear, and your sweetheart of one year 
ago, your beautiful, innocent plaything, will re- 
ceive full payment for her trust in a man's prom- 
ises by hanging; hanging high, so high that the 
gaping crowd must look skyward to enjoy the 
horrible show. There they will watch and gossip 
on " the wages of sin," while the white and ten- 
der body of this poor, shame-stained creature 
swings and capers in the sunshine above their 
heads, cutting gruesome antics while held aloft 
by that same lovely, delicate neck, so round and 
soft, which once afforded you so much delight to 
fondle and caress with loving kisses. Imagine 
the scene ! Your one-time lady-love hanging and 
swinging backward, forward, slower, slower, 
until her fair body drops hmp and soulless at the 
hangman's feet — dead — yes, quite dead! O, 
miserable man! Well may you cower on your 
trembling knees and bow your wicked head in 
penitence before this sleeping woman. You can- 
not bend too low to beg of your victim, to beg of 

26 



IN SECRET PLACES 

your God, pardon for the terrible crime you have 
brought upon her and on yourself. Can you 
doubt that, were all the truth disclosed and true 
justice done, it would be on yourself the iron 
hand of the law should fall, and not on the poor 
wretch who was made to suffer. 

You may well cry and beg " Forgive, forgive; 
for God's sake forgive ! I did not mean to be so 
cruel. I was weak, I was thoughtless, but oh, not 
wicked! How could I know what the result 
would be? Forgive! Speak, oh, speak but once, 
and tell me I was not intentionally wicked ! My 
heart, my heart, poor girl, how could I dream of 
this!" 

Look! Her pale hps move, and she faintly 
whispers, " Too late, too late! unfortunate man; 
the wages of sin is death." Aye, verily, this is 
true, not only to the physical body, but also to 
something unspeakably holy that dwells deep 
within each soul. Ah me ! Ah me ! And you, the 
betrayer of my innocence, the father of my child, 
the wrecker of my life — you must suffer just 
retribution for " the wages of sin is death." 



27 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

The witching time is over. The cathedral 
clock strikes one, proclaiming the first hour of a 
new day. Clear and sweet a life-giving gentle 
breeze floats into the prison cell. Through the 
high-barred window a cold, white moonbeam 
steals and rests upon the calm pale face of a 
sleeping woman, worn and purified by suffering. 
In sleep, merciful dreamless sleep, she awaits the 
dawning of her last day. 

In the shadow of her hard and narrow bed, like 
a dark messenger of evil, crouches an uncanny 
figure, strangely gray and still. The figure bears 
a man's shape ; and low upon his knees he kneels, 
with hands tight clasped in supplication. 

Yet, judge him not with too stern a heart; for, 
having passed through the torments of self- 
reproach, he is now beyond all human help and 
sympathy and has abeady received full reward 
for his terrible offense against God and man. 
Utterly crushed, he realizes that " the wages of 
sin is death." May his poor, depraved, mistaken 
soul at last find peace! 



28 



THE FAMILY CLOAK 




Come into your true inheritance " {page jo) 



THE FAMILY CLOAK 

EVERY nerve is throbbing, beating, beyond 
my poor control; my head and limbs are 
weary and aching for the rest that is denied 
me. Oh, dear, pitiful God! How I long and 
pray that peaceful sleep may come to me at last. 
It is again night, the night I so longed for 
and yet dreaded to feel about me. The moonless 
sky is overcast ; blunt shadows of trees and shrub- 
bery show blacker against an already intensely 
gloomy background. There is 
no sound of human life with- 
out the house or within its 
doors. I lift my curtain and with 
watchful eyes peer out into the velvet 
darkness. Strange noises of the night reach 
my ears; the uncanny hoot of the owl, and 
weird fluttering of sable wings, as the creatures 
of the dark dart here and there. My eyes wan- 
der among the shadows. I see queer, fantastic 

31 




A FANTASY OF SOULS 

shapes creeping, creeping from one tree to an- 
other, and as they pass my window they pause, 
straighten their crooked, distorted bodies to wave 
long, ungainly arms at me in flippant famili- 
arity. With a shudder I turn my head away 
and with trembling fingers hasten to screen them 
from my sight. Blinds are fastened, windows 
closed and curtains drawn together secure and 
fast. Not until then does my body cease to 
tremble. I sigh with relief as I move about my 
sleeping room preparing for a night of rest — if, 
indeed, there is such a thing as rest for me ! 

One shaded reading lamp is doing duty on a 
table beside my bed, sending out faint and not 
far-reaching light, which leaves the distant 
corners of my room filled with dusky, violet 
shadows, vague and eerie. Furniture, familiar 
to me by daylight, takes on a new aspect in this 
dim, uncertain light. A great lounging-chair 
stands by my bedside, ready to give me comfort 
within its roomy depths. But look, look ! What 
is that I see peeping from around the corner of 
the soft-cushioned chair back? Can it be, I ask 
myself, one of those horrid little goblins, brother 

32 



THE FAMILY CLOAK 

to the gruesome nightmares that greeted me 
from the darkness without? See, see! The angles 
of my room are full of them, gobbling, grinning, 
pointing, chuckling, one to the other. Their 
little malicious ferret eyes, cold as steel, horrible 
shining with a devilish light, are fastening upon 
me in wicked glee. They seem to take particular 
pleasure in my distress. " O Lord! " I cry, 
" what are these things, these intangible, fear- 
some things that keep their eyes upon me day 
and night? " In the darkness their loathsome 
figures rise up and dance before me. In the day- 
light their high, discordant voices are constantly 
buzzing in my ears. If my heart throbs with 
pleasure over a tale of some noble deed, imme- 
diately I hear a cold, hard, rasping voice shout- 
ing, " Don't believe it; don't believe it; don't be- 
lieve it ! " If warm, caressing arms are passed 
about my neck, and endearing words are whis- 
pered into my ear, straightway one of those ter- 
rible goblins murmurs into the other ear, " Don't 
believe it; don't believe it ! It is all false, all 
false." What might be my pleasure, my de- 
lights, are turned into horrors, into travesties; 

3S 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

what might give to others and myself so much 
happiness is transformed into misery for all. 

I am incapable of fully understanding the 
good and the true, for those imps of Satan dis- 
tort to my mind all that comes near me, and allow 
me to see to advantage only the mean and un- 
worthy. Even the radiance of God's wonderful 
sun, the grandeur of the mountains, the glory of 
the sea, the heavenly blue of the sky, the golden 
stars, the whole veritable great marvelous world 
— all, all are seen by me " through a glass 
darkly." A mirror of darkness and gloom is 
held before my mind and eyes by those devils' 
servants. " What are they? Whence do they 
come? " I cry in despair, and a terrible intuition 
within me clamors to be heard above the demons' 
din, crying : " Listen to me, please ; yes, listen 
to me. They come from within. Look, seek; 
find the cause. They are your thoughts, black 
thoughts, born in an atmosphere of hate, dark, 
murderous hate; uncharitableness, narrow-mind- 
edness, prejudice, selfishness, cowardice, pride, 
love of selfish power. These thought-companions 
will bear you company until, from out your heart 

34 



THE FAMILY CLOAK 

and life, you have vomited them forth. There is 
beauty, so much beauty, in your soul if you will 
only look for it; but if these black monstrosities 
remain they will drive it all away. Turn them 
out, turn them out! " " How ridiculous," I ex- 
claim, and feel my face grow red and hot with 
anger. "Look at me, just look at me! A 
broken, bruised, wrecked life is mine; sad and 
sorrowful, I admit, but not through any fault of 
mine. / have done nothing — no, nothing — do 
you hear what I say? Nothing! My thoughts 
are good and pure and broad. I am unselfish, 
charitable. Love and kindness I hold for all. 
These devils are none of mine; they are sent to 
do me unto death by those who have made my 
life a failure." Faintly, faintly, down deep into 
my heart, what is this I hear? " Shame, oh, 
shame! poor deceived creature, shame, shame! 
You lie to yourself — lie, lie, lie!" and now a 
troubled sigh, a stifled sob, and all is still, 
strangely, deathly still. I look about my room 
with fearsome eyes. The horrid little ghouls 
have gone, and at last I am quite alone. A long- 
drawn sigh of relief escapes me, and I hasten to 

35 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

prepare for sleep, hoping, praying to lose myself 
in the land of dreams before my unwelcome visi- 
tors return. 

The clock ticks the minutes and hours away, 
and still sleep, thrice blessed sleep, is denied me. 
Tired eyes wander here and there and at last 
fasten themselves for rest upon the pictured face 
of a beautiful child, a little child who should be 
more to me than life. How sweetly and serenely 
she gazes at me, with her pure open eyes, in the 
depths of which shines a smile, a smile still bear- 
ing holy light from the angel world. Her rosy, 
softly curved hps seem to murmur, " And but as 
ye become a little child, ye cannot enter into the 
kingdom of heaven." 

I feel that I am growing sleepy, but the child- 
ish eyes are still upon me, gazing straight into 
my own, holding me as with a hypnotic spell. I 
hear a clear, childish, flute-like voice chant, " And 
a little child shall lead them " and, *' But as ye 
become as a little child ye cannot enter into the 
kingdom of heaven, heaven, heaven." Softer, 
slower, softer, slower, the notes fall on mv ears 



THE FAMILY CLOAK 

until I hear no more. I am asleep. Oh, blessed 
sleep, may it be dreamless. 

Ah, how my limbs ache, how heavy I feel! I 
am so weary, so weary! a great burden seems to 
be pressing down upon my heart. I can no 
longer see the child-face. I can no longer hear 
the sweet-voiced singer. I am again awake, 
exceedingly wide awake; but I can see nothing, 
for I am enveloped in the heaviest and blackest 
of woe. What has happened? Is it a miracle? 
I am standing in the midst of a barren, sandy 
plain; a desert stretches out in front of me and 
behind me, and a damp, uncomfortable mist sur- 
rounds me. I must move foward. But no, I am 
afraid. I turn and flee backward. On and 
on I go until I am suddenly and mysteriously 
stopped. Then, wonder of wonders ! many years 
have passed from me. I am no longer old and 
feeble, but young, a girl once more; the rich, 
young blood is pounding through my veins. I 
stand at the beginning of life, strong, healthy, 
bright and hopeful, my heart filled with ambi- 
tions for the best of everything worth striving 
for that life contains, holding firmly to ideals 

37 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

good and true, longing for life, for joy, for love, 
for freedom to do and dare — to live, in short, up 
to the highest within me. But gladness leaves 
my heart, and a sadness and utter hopelessness 
descend upon it ! 

I look out over the sandy waste and see coming 
rapidly forward a man and a woman. They 
move with a determined tread, they are old and 
gray, and stiff of carriage. They are very near 
me now and wear the faces of my parents, long 
since dead. What do they want of me? What do 
they want? I tremble, poor frightened, tender 
creature that I am, and wait in fear. The man 
carries in his hard, firm hands 
manacles of strange work- 
manship; also a great heavy 
ball and a goodly length of 
clanking chain. The woman's 
arms are holding fast a thick, ungainly 
cloak, soiled, worn, unlovely and of musty 
odor; also a veil, long, coarse, black, dank. The 
woman — my mother — weeps as if in pity, and 
wrings her little fragile hands, while her compan- 
ion, stern and grim, grasping my white wrists 

38 




THE FAMILY CLOAK 

with bony fingers, snaps tight about the tender 
flesh his cruel manacles. My hands, now prison- 
ers, around one of my slender ankles he attaches 
the heavy chain and ball. This accomplished, my 
mother, coming slowly forward, enfolds my 
shrinking body in her cumbersome, gruesome 
cloak, which conceals beneath its musty folds my 
own bright, beautiful garments in which I have 
taken much pleasure. The veil is next flung 
over my freely flowing hair, and closely drawn 
before my fresh and smiHng face, completely 
hiding my eyes from view, and by the darkness 
and thickness of its almost opaque consistency, 
concealing almost everything from my sight. I 
can now see but a short distance before me; and 
what I do see is so different, so very diff*erent, 
from that on which I gazed when free from these 
strange, uncomfortable garments that are not 
mine. " They do not belong to me! " I exclaim. 
" Oh ! Please, please, do not make me wear these 
things! They do not fit; they hinder my move- 
ments; they smother me; they bind my hands; 
they retard my progress; they blind my eyes; 
they make me faint and sick. They are not mine, 

39 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 



they are not mine! " It is useless for me to cry. 
I recognize at last that on my young and tender 
shoulders has been cast the " Family Cloak " of 
generations past, and the veil that prevented my 
parents and grandparents from seeing clearly 
any great distance beyond their own inclinations 
and limitations will, from the present time until 
my life is finished, blind my eyes and mind to 
very many things outside of myself and my pres- 
ent environment. With the bestowal of the cloak 
and veil I also must take upon myself the ances- 
tral traits, both good and bad, of a long line of 
parents, great and greater still, until several gen- 
erations are represented in 
myself. Oh, woe is me; 
woe is me ; to be myself and 
not myself, chained, bound, 
hampered, blinded! " Is 
there no pity, no pity," I 
moan. I cast myself upon 
the hot, burning sands, 
weep and cry in helplessness and despair, Oh, 
woe is me! Woe is me! 




Now I sleep. 



40 



THE FAMILY CLOAK 

And now I awake again and see strange 
things. Hundreds, thousands, miUions of young, 
beautiful, brilliant. Godlike beings are filling all 
this misty space about me. Among these bright 
spirits descend shrouded creatures, old and shriv- 
eled, smelling of the charnel house. Their stiff, 
clamlike hands are busy enfolding this company 
in garments similar to mine — veils, manacles, 
chains, balls; yea, all that I wear they too must 
wear. Some few among this radiant band beat 
back the gruesome hands, and, standing strong 
and firm among the conquered ones, battle right 
royally for their hberty. Again the persevering 
aged hands try to grasp these brave and fearless 
beings. Again and again they are driven back 
by strength of will, by inherent faith in them- 
selves to win the fight. Weaker the old hands 
grow, stronger the young arms strike; and now 
the victory is theirs. With looks of sympathy 
and regret for their weaker brothers and sisters 
they dart away over the desert sands, free, bril- 
liant, self-reliant, leaving a trail behind them 
blazed with the golden light that has fallen from 
their wonderful garments. No " Family Cloak " 

41 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

will they carry on their shoulders; no bands of 
customs, old and useless, will they allow to im- 
pede their flying feet; no ancestral veil will hide 
the beauties and opportunities of the future from 
their eager, searching eyes. Strange, strange ! 

Left alone with my heavy burden of heredity, 
again I sleep, again I awake. A miracle must 
have taken place while last I slept, for my terror, 
sorrow, despair — all have left me. I do not 
miss my youthful garments, so soft and white. 
I look with perfect satisfaction upon the worn 
and ugly things I wear. My body has grown to 
fit the " Family Cloak " perfectly. I do not 
miss the glorious visions that used to pass before 
my girlish eyes, I feel secure and quite protected 
beneath the heavy, misty veil that has changed 
so completely every sight to me. I am content, 
aye more than content, that this is so. Complete 
freedom may possibly do very well for a few 
courageous souls, but it entails too much respon- 
sibility to be enjoyed by the majority of man- 
kind. A comfortable seclusion, hidden safely 
beneath an ancestor's great garment, irrespon- 
sible to a certain degree for events, sheltered by 

42 



THE FAMILY CLOAK 

past generations from participating in any ven- 
turesome deeds belonging to the present age, is 
far better. I am quite satisfied to be what I am, 
and start again on my journey to the country 
beyond the desert with halting, jerky steps, 
dragging cheerfully behind me my galling chain 
and ball. 

The mists are lifting now, and before my 
veiled eyes stretches a desolate waste of sand. 
Around me float strange shapes which seem to 
know all about me and seek my company. Who 
is that creature, the one in the distance, coming 
after me? Watch him; see him slinking, totter- 
ing, hiding, creeping from stone to stone ! Bend- 
ing low, he rests his ear close to the hot sand and 
listens, listens, listens, while his shifty little star- 
ing eyes peer first to the right, then to the left, 
behind, before. Now, leaping suddenly high 
into the air, he make a downward, diving spring 
upon my already sorely weighted shoulders, and 
disappears under my heavy wraps of servi- 
tude, servitude to the past. I feel within my 
garments; but he has suddenly mysteriously 
vanished. Where, I do not know. But wait! 

43 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

What is this strange beating and trembling in 
my heart and of my limbs? This is no mortal 
visitor, rather a preternatural spirit, whose hands 
I can feel pounding at my breast. I hear a voice 
calling to me in a high uneven fluttering key, 
saying: "My name is 'Fear, Cowardly Fear.' 
Do make me welcome ! I have come to live with 
you. While I am near, nothing can harm you; 
for I will prevent you from doing anything but 
what is absolutely necessary to your comfort. I 
will hinder you from doing, aye from doing. I 
am a fine jailor, a fine jailor; and mind your 
jailor, or your heart will ache. The easiest way 
is often the best. Remember, remember! Con- 
sult me before you do anything, think anything, 
or wish anything, and you will have no responsi- 
bilities. Do what I tell you or do 
nothing. It is really best to 
do nothing; that is safest. 
Never venture anything un- 
til you consult me. Oh, under- 
stand that I am a prime adviser. You 
will soon not be able to Mve without me. 

I have been with your family for gen- 

44« 




THE FAMILY CLOAK 

erations. I will guide and protect you. You will 
never do much for your own or others' happiness, 
welfare or enjoyment. But what does that mat- 
ter; for, should you try to do something, you 
might fail, you know. Some one might get hurt, 
or come in contact with undesirable companions, 
or contract a severe illness. And then, how awful ! 
If you give others the delights they long for, and, 
as a result, they are injured, you are responsible. 
There is only one chance in a million that any- 
thing would happen; but there might something 
happen, you know. Don't do anything you 
haven't done; don't do anything those who have 
worn your cloak and manacles have not done; 
but follow in their footsteps, for they had exper- 
ience and know. If you act otherwise, you may 
be sorry. Take me in your arms and love me, 
for I am your true friend." The sprite now 
clings so close to me that I feel I am strangling, 
and push aside my heavy robe to get, for just 
one short moment, a breath of God's fresh air 
and freedom. With a wild scream the imp is 
upon me, crying: "How dare you, you fool; 
how dare you! You will meet your death if a 

45 . 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 



strange breeze touches you. Go back into your 
cloak, and cover well — cover well." I gasp and 
moan at the hard blows dealt by the hands of 
" Cowardly Fear," and again creep under the 
protecting cover of my prison clothes. 

Dully through my heavy veil I gaze and 
watch, with tearful eyes, the passing and doings 
of other shrouded figures, looking strangely odd, 
as though gowned in domino and mask, as they 
move before me with methodical precision, like 
sad phantoms in a dream. A flash of clear, white 
light pierces the dull gray of the surrounding 
heavy misty atmosphere, and again into sight 
flashes a radiant form, clad in flowing, open 
robes of bright, prismatic hues. Head, arms and 
feet are bare and free of all restricting hands. 
Bright as the rosy sunrise glow, pure, sweet, 
shining with holy light that 
comes from within, is that 
figure strong and fair. An- 
other, and still another comes 
before me. How brave and 
beautiful they are, as they 
float by, ignorant of the fate 
46 




THE FAMILY CLOAK 

that awaits them here. See, they are detained 
in their flight by somber figures bound and 
chained, creatures filled with fear and dislike 
for these bold spirits. Closer, still closer, they 
press about them. They grasp the glittering 
garments with eager, destructive fingers, drag- 
ging them from the fair shoulders and trampling 
them under foot, cursing horribly the while. 
Observe, now behind each gray form is a figure, 
misshapen and ugly, who with vile unholy chat- 
tering encourages the shackled band to fresh 
endeavor. Now, now, the fair beings are down, 
crouching in the sand, their glad raiment in 
shreds and tatters. Eyes wild with terror, they 
struggle valiantly; but however brave and ambi- 
tious, their strength cannot last against the fierce, 
resentful blows and the smothering folds of the 
many dreadful enveloping cloaks and veils that 
beat against their upturned faces like an army 
of ugly, loathsome bats. Look ! Now they sink, 
those beautiful ones, beneath the pressure. They 
faint, they fall, while the gray army send up an 
awful shout of joy and derision, and leave this 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

second band of venturesome spirits vanquished 
on the desert sands. 

No, the weird company have not gone. They 
are stopping now and waiting. They call, in 
voices hoarse and hard, " Come, sister, come ; you 
are one of us, you wear our uniform; you must 
join our band; you must do your part to keep the 
world from the foolish influence of such as these 
that we have done to death." I answer the call 
and follow the procession. I am tramping now 
with them, and keeping step to the unharmon- 
ious sounds of many bondage chains. Clank, 
clank, clank, they say as they strain and pull 
upon our ankles. I look back at those lovely, 
prostrate forms, torn and bleeding; and while I 
gaze each raises to mine a sweet, reproachful 
face, and slender white fingers point to the sky 
above. Yes, truly, a star is there ; a great, golden 
steady glowing star, their divine and guiding 
light. 

Ah ! I am tired ; so weary, weary ! Something 
is very wrong with me. I have followed the ad- 
vice of my protecting genius ; I have obeyed the 
commands of my ancestors. I have seen with 

48 



THE FAMILY CLOAK 

their eyes, thought their thoughts, copied their 
actions, dehghted in following their example — 
and yet? Life seems a failure; I am utterly 
miserable, sick and lonely. Happiness fled from 
me when I clasped hands with past ages, and 
clouds of disappointment envelop me. I feel 
myself lagging behind the grim company. I 
stumble, fall and lie upon my face, while a 
frightful ache grinds and throbs in my throat 
and in the depths of my heart. 

A gentle touch upon my shrouded form dis- 
turbs me. I feel a faint clutch at my enveloping 
cloak, and, opening my eyes, see before me the 
sweet, childish face so dear to me, whose eyes 
have looked so often deeply, trustingly into mine. 
What is she doing, this baby girl? I feel her 
fluttering breath, faint and delicate as the per- 
fume of her favorite flower, fan my cheek. I 
feel a faint sensation of httle fingers pulhng and 
tugging at my clumsy veil; and at last, with a 
glad cry of success, the enshrouding folds are 
dragged from off" my face and the fastenings of 
my musty garment snap beneath the persevering 
baby hands. The heavy weight falls from my 

49 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

breast and discloses underneath, to my astonished 
eyes, the soft, filmy, glistening garments, crushed 
and torn, the garments that I had quite for- 
gotten I had ever worn! I feel a joyous bound- 
ing heartbeat, a delicious gladness. The sky 
looks a heavenly blue ; love makes my heart ten- 
der for all mankind. Angel voices sound sweetly 
in my ears, calling: " Come into your true in- 
heritance! Love, hope, work, rejoice! Be your- 
self ; God's own child, to live and do and seek all 
things." I reach forth my hands in ecstacy, 
when, just in time to prevent my complete dis- 
mantlement, my cursed familiar Cowardly Fear 
creeps out from his snug hiding-place in much 
alarm, shouting excitedly in my ear, " Quick, 
quick, cover yourself! Cover yourself, I say! 
Will you discard these protecting, comfortable 
garments, exposing yourself to every strange 
influence that is waiting to convince you of dif- 
ferent thoughts, different habits, different ways, 
and a possible death similar to those beings we 
have left behind us on the sand? I say you are 
mad. Cover, cover! If you love that radiant 
child with a possessive love, do not leave her 

50 



THE FAMILY CLOAK 

unprotected to her own devices. She has no right 
to a Hfe different from others of her ancestral 
line. Bind her to your side ; wrap her in a corner 
of your mantle until you have her fast and sure. 
Teach her to see the world through the eyes of 
the past only. Make her live her life from your 
viewpoint. Veil all other vistas ; they are strange 
to you, and you know not whither they lead. 
Implant my teachings in her heart; make her 
know Fear. Let me join you in your work. I, 
* Fear,' will take her in hand and protect her 
from all harm, all joy, all sorrow — all, all, 
whether good or evil. We will straightway cast 
upon her the ' Family Cloak,' enveloping veil, 
manacles, chain, ball, all that you wear. She will 
then be safe, quite safe. We will protect her 
from herself, from her personality, originality, 
incHnations, ambitions. We will cover them well, 
guard them carefully, and in time kill them; for 
they are all bad things, new and untried. If she 
should show a little natural talent we will dis- 
courage it — crush it in her heart ; if she wishes to 
go her own way we will chain her fast. That is 
easily done ; all I need to do is to place my finger 

51 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

on it, and it will wither away. We will make her 
a child after our own pattern. It is best for her; 
it has been tried. We will be doing a kindness." 

How thankful I ought to be to have such a 
cautious counselor! What had I nearly done? 
I had almost allowed this young innocent child 
to disrobe me of my precious inheritance, and to 
make me see fair mirages over the desert with 
unveiled eyes. 

I tear my beloved garments from the caressing 
hands and dive beneath the protecting folds once 
more, while I firmly grasp little tender wrists 
with fingers strong and firm. The child at my 
rough touch gives an astonished, terrified gasp. 
The beautiful, innocent eyes look into mine in 
wild surprise ; and then, with a frightened scream 
of alarm, she falls backward from my hands. A 
blinding flash of fight pierces me to my very 
heart; ruddy, gleaming flames dart forth in all 
directions, and a voice from above calls out, in 
clarion tones: " Leave her to her- 
self; she has a right to live. She 
will live for herself and by 

herself, in the present and 
52 




THE FAMILY CLOAK 

in the future, with God's help and guidance, not 
away in the dim shadows of the past. Prevent 
her at your peril! " 

I spring forward as the little childish form is 
disappearing. I grasp, in frantic haste and reck- 
less of consequence, at one of her white limbs, 
which I hold fast in an iron clutch. At once I 
am surrounded by hundreds of gibbering, chat- 
tering imps, and with their help I drag the tiny 
figure to me and force her down upon the sand. 
But in what condition does she lie at my feet! 
The white flesh battered and bruised; the bright 
hair blood-stained and torn ; her baby face turned 
to mine, but not with smiles and joyous glances. 
No recognition shines from those accusing inno- 
cent eyes ; they are sad, dead, staring eyes, pitiful 
to look at. Quickly the imps and I adjust the 
manacles upon the childish wrists and the chain 
about her slender ankle. The veil now hides 
her lovely face from view, and the Family Cloak 
is folded tightly about the stiffening limbs. She 
does not move, she does not cry or struggle; she 
is still, strangely still. Mine at last, at last ! The 
shining ones are conquered and ancestral voices 

63 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

can be heard from the charnel house rejoicing in 
the victory. 

Again I hear the warning, "At your peril; 
at your peril! " and I begin to shake and tremble. 
I stand alone with Fear, who, from a slender 
sprite, has taken on a giant's size and strength. 
Grabbing me from off my feet, he runs and 
springs. He bounds and stumbles in a madden- 
ing, frightened flight ; crying aloud for help and 
protection from some unknown power above and 
beyond his narrow realm of cowardice and self 
interest. At last he falls exhausted to the 
ground, dragging me with him, tight in his hor- 
rid arms. My senses leave me, and I sink unto 
death. Oh! woe is me, woe is me! May God 
have mercy on my soul! One thought is mine — 
the child, the child! It pounds my brain and 
burns into my soul. Too late I realize my fright- 
ful mistake; too late I realize my own pitiful, 
slavish condition; too late I understand so many 
things that were incomprehensible before. 

With " Cowardly Fear " ever by my side, and 
his imps of darkness peering and sneering at me 
from every corner, I spend my hours and days in 

54 



THE FAMILY CLOAK 

misery ; and everywhere I look I see the pictured 
face of a little child, that beautiful child who 
should be more to me than life. She gazes at me 
with her pure, true, wide-open eyes, in the depths 
of which shines a smile, a smile still bearing holy 
light from the angel world. But now the picture 
changes; the face is blue and bruised, the hair 
bloodstained and torn ; the baby hands are raised 
in supplication, and all the goblins call in satanic 
delight, " Too late, too late! " 



55 



SOUL TO SOUL 




"Why, Soul of a Woman, so restless and disturbed?" (page ^g) 



SOUL TO SOUL 

"TX THY, Soul of a Woman, so restless and 

W disturbed? I would know the reason 
of your weary wanderings." 

" O, Soul of a Man! my answer will, I fear, be 
beyond your comprehension." 

"Have confidence, sweet Woman's Soul; tell 
me your sorrows. I will do my utmost to under- 
stand." 

" Dear Spirit, if you could truly realize the 

reason of my distress, I should no longer be the 

uneasy soul that disturbs your peace. Know that, 

feeling most intensely my incompleteness, I am 

constantly reaching out, longing, wandering, 

searching unsuccessfully, alone and sorrowful 

for that which will add more light and growth, 

power and joy to my existence. Oh! this is what 

you have not known, and I fear it is difficult for 

you to conceive my loneliness, my craving for 

unattained perfection." 

59 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

" You are not the only grieving soul, my sis- 
ter. When I study my own condition I must 
acknowledge that I, too, am restless and filled 
with desire for that which I have not. Great, 
masterful and wonderful as I am, I am aware 
completion has been denied me, and unfulfilled 
ambitions for larger and grander achievements 
cause me agony and distress beyond expression." 

" Brother, if you will but consent to bestow 
upon me your highest confidence, receive me into 
your inner life — soul to soul — ^my intuition tells 
me I can aid you to develop into such perfection 
that you will revolutionize the hves of all spirits 
crossing your pathway ; and in bringing this con- 
dition to pass I feel I shall find for myself that 
for which I have long searched, prayed ardently 
for and despaired of in sadness and desolation, 
recognition as a perfect soul. Your most pre- 
cious aspiration I can realize for you, and, in ex- 
change you can give to my woman's soul the 
opportunity to develop all that is lurking there; 
that is to say, attain my highest ideal." 

" What can you teach me, dear Mother Soul, 
that I do not already know ? What can you bring 

60 



SOUL TO SOUL 



into my life that I have not felt? What can you 
say to me that my own great knowledge has not 
told me?" 

" O, Father Soul ! you are indeed brave and 
strong. You and your brothers have been rulers 
over all the world since life began. Yours is a 
master mind, and you have developed a power to 
do and dare all things. Love you have known, 
and the joys of possession have been yours. 
Even so, there is something more, and of as 
great import, that in your haste for mastery 
you have neglected to cultivate." 
" My Friend, I believe you have 
spoken the truth. I acknowledge I 
have made unreasonable haste 
to rule, and in my mad, ambi- 
tious struggle for power have 
overlooked much for my happiness and 
growth. Scores of women's souls have 
come in contact with my own. I have 
sensed their beauty, their dependence, 
and have enjoyed their presence and companion- 
ship; but never before have I looked below the 
surface of their lovely, alluring exteriors. I now, 

61 




A FANTASY OF SOULS 

with a broader vision, view many matters new 
and never before di'eamed of by me. Teach me, 
dear Mother Soul, and I will listen to your 
counsel." 

" My Brother, you must prepare yourself for 
the revelation that is coming to you; and I, who 
so many years have sorrowed and searched in 
vain for the full development that alone brings 
happiness and perfection, must receive from you, 
in exchange for my disclosure, the unveihng of 
your most sacred aspirations and the revealing 
of every unworthy thought and deed. Our souls 
must be laid bare, one to the other, before we can 
attain our greatest desire. Majestic Soul of a 
Man, I am a suppHcant before you, and humbly 
beg that you will free us both from our limita- 
tions. You should be the first to receive. Gaze 
deep into my naked, waiting soul, which has 
longed and prayed for this awakening for countr 
less days." 

"O Wonderful Soul of a Woman! What 
marvels have you disclosed to me ! A fair mother- 
hood is laid open before me, holy, sacred, with 
all the qualities and beauties that maternity 

62 



SOUL TO SOUL 

brings; surrounded by love, not only personal 
love, but large human love, seeking to mother all 
the world. And great is my astonishment to dis- 
cover, in addition to these feminine characteris- 
tics, strength, courage and the abihty to rule. 
Every attribute that has made me great and 
powerful I find within, ready an opportunity for 
expression. I did not dream your woman's soul 
contained these qualities. I have always, to the 
present time, considered them as dwelling alone 
in masculine spirits ; and I am sore ashamed that 
I have claimed their sole glory for myself and 
my brothers. Joy is, indeed, mine that I now 
understand aright! 

" Come near to me, my sister; we will hence- 
forth travel together, soul to soul, until we both 
attain the full perfection of hfe we so much 
desire." 

" O, Marvelous Soul of a Man, what wonders 
do I see as I look into the depths of your grand 
spirit! Great and masterful you are — strong, 
courageous, brave; ruler of all the world since 
life began. All these traits of fatherhood glow 
with new radiance from your extraordinary self, 

63 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

and in addition are quite as many striking qual- 
ities of a softer character, which I view as in a 
mirror reflecting from my own feminine soul. 
Closely surrounding your masculine character- 
istics I discover the same beautiful maternal 
traits that have been described as ' feminine ' ; the 
same mother tenderness is in your soul as in my 
own; the same sweetness, gentleness and love, 
not only personal love, but love for all the world. 

" Your dearest wish is to become perfect — 
complete — which cannot come to pass until the 
same motherhood is developed within you, 
equally with your masculine qualities. Be not 
ashamed to give it room to grow, for it is your 
salvation." 

" My most holy desire cannot be realized until 
the masculine attributes within me develop side 
by side with my maternal qualities. Help me to 
gain what you already enjoy; for only with this 
realization to us both will come completion, with 
the knowledge and manifestation that soul is 
seamless J, perfect in every respect." 

" You, the great Father Soul, will then com- 
prehend me truly as I am, and gather me close 

64f 



SOUL TO SOUL 



within your life, your second self, so to speak, 
and yet diiFerent." 

" At last I am at peace! I, the great Father 
Soul, have come into my own ; and you, the mar- 
velous Mother Soul, can now attain perfection. 
Together our highest ideals realized, our most 
cherished desires satisfied, equal, complete and 
entire, father and mother, mascuhne and fem- 
inine; two in one in power and majesty, in 
strength, beauty, tenderness 
and love, we will travel hence- 
forth, through eternity, united 
in all things, our hearts beating in 
unison, our lives forever entwined 
one with the other." 




65 



WHEN JOY SPEAKS 




"To love, to do, to serve" {.foge 78) 



WHEN JOY SPEAKS 

JOY bent her lovely head, and a gentle smile 
curved her questioning lips, as she stretched 
forth a strong, white hand to the " Wanderer," 
whom she discovered faint and weary by the 
wayside. 

" Why do you weep. Traveler? What means 
these bitter tears, this sad and haggard counte- 
nance, these halting, listless footsteps, when hap- 
piness is before you, behind you, on every side? 
Come, lift up your drooping head and gaze at 
all the wondrous beauty by which you are sur- 
rounded. Give me your hand ; look into my eyes 
and tell me your tale of sorrow; for dread woe, 
I can plainly see, has been your close companion 
these many days." 

Glancing timidly at the radiant, confi- 
dent figure, the "Wanderer" answered thus: 
" Bright, Ministering Spirit, tell me how I can 
smile and keep a tender heart within my breast, 

69 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

when all the world is suffering from trials and 
tribulations. No, it is impossible for me to feel 
happpy and content. Rather, I must keep my 
glances fastened to the ground for fear some new 
terror I might encounter should I choose to look 
abroad. At my birth ' Sorrow ' was midwife ; 
through my childish years ' Care ' led me through 
many fearsome places. In my youth ' Fear ' be- 
came my comrade, robbing my cheeks of bloom, 
taking the bright sparkle from my eyes and the 
ready smile from my lips. The best years of my 
life have passed from me, leaving sorrow and 
despair as my companions. I have grown old 
among the shadows of heartache, illness and 
death, and now can see nothing else in all the 
world. Beautiful Spirit, so filled with vibrant 
vitality and life, whose very glance is a benedic- 
tion, sending warmth and buoyancy even into my 
sad heart! You are care free, never having 
known the pain of suffering. Give me your 
strong hand, that you may feel my heart as it 
lies like dull lead within my bosom. You will 
then not talk to me of happiness when you realize 
the heavy load I carry." 

70 



WHEN JOY SPEAKS 

" Wanderer, here is my hand ; place it upon 
your heart, that we both may understand each 
other better. See, I lay my fingers lightly on 
your side, and now your rapid and uneven heart- 
beats throb and pound beneath their touch like 
some fine musical instrument out of tune. Poor 
heart, cease your unruly pace, gently, 
rhythmically, and in fit order; you 
should play your part in the 
World's Great Symphony instead 
of giving forth discordant 
sounds to craze the brain and 
drive the mind into forbidden 
places. 

" Listen to me. Traveler; you, 
who have lived for so long in the twilight, do as I 
direct, and a new heaven and a new earth shall be 
revealed to you. Without doubt you suffer, suf- 
fer intense agonies. And why should you not? 
You keep your thoughts ever upon what sadness 
has visited you. These sick thoughts wander back 
and forth, in and out, deep down in the depths of 
your being, among sad graves of buried ambi- 
tions, hopes and loves. Far away, alone and soli- 

71 




A FANTASY OF SOULS 

tary in your narrow cell, your spirit has become a 
very hermit, hidden from all men. This should 
not be. You are breaking Nature's laws when 
you concentrate your interest within the narrow 
boundaries of your own personality, and turn 
away from the life surrounding you in myriad 
shapes on every side, of which you form so small 
a part. Come with me, poor soul, I beg ; give me 
your trust and follow me. 

" Lift up your eyes, fearful Wanderer. I 
command you, in all love, to take your thoughts 
from out that charnel-house within and disturb 
no more the quiet forms of the departed who, to 
your brooding, quickened imagination, have 
taken upon themselves strange shapes, huge and 
distorted, and out of all due proportion and like- 
ness to their reality. Do this for me, and tell me 
freely what you feel and see." 

Soft and warm upon the Traveler's cold heart 

lay the firm, white hand of " Joy." Slowly the 

heat from that magic palm made progress into 

the deepest recess within, bringing sensations of 

relief, comfort and rest unspeakable. 

72 



WHEN JOY SPEAKS 

"What I Oh, what has happened to me?" 
cried the sufferer. " I do not comprehend ; I 
have never, in many years, felt like this, I am 
warm and strangely satisfied. My veins are 
burning and bursting with hot blood, which I feel 
is racing through them at lightning speed. My 
heart, but now so heavy, is bounding to and f ro,- 
to and fro, as lightly as a bit of thistledown to a 
joyful refrain, which keeps pealing through my 
brain as though played on celestial harps, and 
sung by a choir of angel voices. In truth, a 
miracle has come to pass. Joy, Joy, I thank thee 
for thy marvelous healing touch, undeserving 
creature that I am." 

" What do you see. Wanderer? " 

" Spirit, I see no more the past in sadness, for 
at last the burden of ancient years has fallen 
from me, and I kneel in adoration, not only to 
the glorious present that is disclosed to me, but to 
the brighter future floating in the hazy, rosy 
distance. All the beauties and wonders of earth, 
sky and sea are now laid bare before me, to which 
I have been so wilfully and ignorantly blind. 
From the heavens, high and blue, the warm, 

73 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

golden glory of his majesty, the sun, sheds mag- 
netic beams through my entire being. The 
grandeur of the everlasting hills is mine. The 
music of the wind, the swaying branches of 
the trees, the songbirds ^ying nigh about; the 
little fluttering insects and small creeping things 
are calling to me to rejoice, joining in one grand 
song that echoes and reaches everywhere." 

" Wanderer, they sing ever of Joy, Joy, Joy! 
Joy of hfe! Wonderful, beautiful hfe, sacred 
and holy ; ours without asking, and for eternity ! 
To use wisely in praise and thanksgiving, not to 
waste in idle repining and discontent, as you have 
done. All that the world holds of everlasting 
worth is yours, simply for the taking ; gather the 
treasures that are for you. Traveler ; do not pass 
them by. You seek love: you will find it in 
measures running over, in the heart of every 
man, woman and child, if you will but truly open 
your heart to them and make their living pres- 
ence one with your own. You ask for work ; you 
will find more than you can accomplish ready to 
your hand ; for while there lives one human being 
upon earth, there also remains a duty for you td 

74 



WHEN JOY SPEAKS 

perform; hearts to heal, souls to save, happiness 
to bestow. ' Seek and ye shall find ; knock and it 
shall be opened unto you.' This is life, * To 
Love; to Do; to Serve.'" 

" Spirit, hold fast my hand; lead me into the 
highway, that I may sing for very gladness, for 
I would proclaim aloud to all people the miracle 
that has come to me. I look above me to the far 
heavens, and the sky is no longer overcast with 
clouds of gray, but is as blue as your glorious 
eyes, the beauty of which they seem to reflect and 
shed upon all the earth. I look upon the ground, 
and there every little blade of grass holds forth 
slender, tender arms of green in exaltation and 
praise. I kneel upon dear, brown Mother Earth, 
and lay my face close upon her warm and gen- 
erous breast, in a perfect ecstacy of rapture and 
thankfulness, for the wonders that are mine. 
Deep within her bosom I can hear strange sounds 
of many voices, singing, ever singing ' Joy of 
Life ! ' I crush my smiling face deep among the 
fragrant greens that grow so close, and close my 
eyes in perfect peace and contentment. Joy is 
in the air. It comes to my ears from every 

75 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

growing thing, above, below; on every side the 
chorus grows in volume and sweetness. I feel 
that I must run, must dance; must, in some 
physical way, demonstrate my happiness. My 
limbs are supple and lithe once more; my heart 
is galloping in my breast for gladness. I tremble 
with eagerness to express my feelings of utter 
delight in all this beautiful, glorious world con- 
tains. The little brook, bounding so gayly on its 
way, calls me to drink of its pure Life ; and as I 
bend to catch the sparkling, refreshing water, I 
see, in its bright surface, a being strange and yet 
familiar to my mind. This being stands close 
held in your embrace, and a light shines from its 
face that speaks of joy beyond expression. Oh, 
my friend I teU me the meaning of all these won- 
drous things." 

" Wanderer, hear! Lend your astonished ear 
to what I have to tell. The miracle is at last com- 
plete. Behold your true and perfect self. In- 
stead of the feeble, tottering, unhappy creature 
I but now discovered, stands a stately soul, beau- 
tiful, powerful, purposeful. Light shines from 
that countenance, telling of life, joy, service. 

76 



WHEN JOY SPEAKS 

Trembling, useless hands are steady, strong and 
helpful. From the eyes shine love and under- 
standing, and the lips smile a welcome to all 
men. 

"Look, Traveler, in the distance! They are 
coming, your companions, young and old, strong 
and weak, wise and dull, from all places, in all 
conditions of mind and body. A vast army, a 
marvelous host! Nearer, still nearer, they come 
to join us on our journey. Look, Wanderer, at 
the faces, how they all shine with a brightness 
and purpose, such as your own now wears; for 
they, hke you, have found me, after weary wan- 
dering, among shadows, after shedding bitter 
tears and suffering many woes. Let us go forth 
and welcome these, our brothers and sisters, and 
rejoice with them, each for the other." 

" Yes, Radiant Spirit, we will, indeed, welcome 
them, and together we will unfurl our banner 
to the warm sunshine and the free air of heaven. 
We will gather under its streamers a bright army 
of pilgrims, to rejoice with us while we travel 
onward with understanding hearts, with helping 
hands, with happy souls, rescued and redeemed 

77 



A FANTASY OF SOULS 

forever from the shadows. Following your 
fair presence, we will lead our band into the 
full glory of the light, with joy inexpressible, 
our watchword ever ' To Love, to Do, to Serve.' 
AUeluia." 



78 



DbC 



